Defining Heraldry

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Defining Heraldry. In the days when few could read the use of imagery to carry messages meant heraldry was almost universally understood. Today we most often see these images on letterheads or signs outside public houses, but how much of it do we understand? Is there information to be found simply by unravelling the hidden messages comprising a coat of arms? Could we discover a lineage of our family tree through heraldry? And are we entitled to produce our own heraldic images in the 21st century? Find the answers to all these questions and more in this talk. Furthermore, send through examples of local heraldry at the time of booking the talk and learn how it came into existence and just what it tells us.

Difficult to give a taster as each talk is tailored to the region where I’m speaking. But we can give some general ideas beginning with….

Colours and orange – pointing to worthy ambition

Oak tree or leaves points to great age and strength

Lions represent dauntless courage.

A mermaid points to eloquence.

A hand represents pledge of faith, sincerity and justice.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line. Note I’ll need a few weeks to research specifics.

Colloquialisms

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Colloquialisms. We use these words and expressions every single day of our lives yet never pay them a second thought. Taken out of context the phrase is meaningless. So where do these come from? How did they start and why do they continue to be used today? In this talk put the speaker in the LIMELIGHT and attempt to CURRY FAVOUR or STEAL MY THUNDER as you hear about that OLD CHESTNUT and why these four colloquialisms and many others have come to be a part of the English language. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

A mere taster starts with:

AT A LOOSE END: a nautical term, and when the rigging relied on checking the ropes regularly the captain, seeing the crew standing around idly instead of checking no ropes had worked loose, asked that question.

BLACK AS NEWGATE’S KNOCKER: refers to gloom and doom, rather than colour. The huge knocker on the door of Newgate Prison in London implied the toughness and darkest experience of the age, a simile suggesting the worst of experiences. That really is the knocker of Newgate Prison.

GET ONE’S GOAT: originated in the USA, first seen in print in 1904, transferring across the Atlantic by 1924 when appearing in John Galsworthy’s White Monkey (yes more animals) when he states: “That had got the chairman’s goat! Got his goat? What expressions they use nowadays!” Nobody really knows why this phrase came to be but, and this positively reeks of folk etymology, it has been said that racehorses, known for being skittish, would be stabled or grazed with goats to keep them calm. Unscrupulous individuals, hoping to make a killing at the bookies, removed the calming influence and the horse performed badly – someone gets my goat.

NOSY PARKER: most often said to refer to Matthew Parker, Archbishop of Canterbury from 1559 to 1575. He attempted to learn certain facts about his fellow clergy using certain inappropriate methods. This, coupled with his large proboscis, earned him the soubriquet Nosy Parker. The problem is, he never made inappropriate enquiries nor did he have a prominent conk. This comes from the end of the 19th century, when novelist Mary Elizabeth Braddon edited the Belgravia Magazine and wrote, in the May 1890 edition, “You’re a askin’ too many questions for me, there’s too much of Mr Nosey Parker about you, an’ I’d ‘ave you to know as I’m a laidee.” Not until the beginning of the 19th century did ‘nosy’ begin to mean ‘inquisitive’, prior to that it was someone with a large nose and until attached to ‘nosy’, the word ‘parker’ only ever referred to a park-keeper. Want to know the real Christian name of Parker from Thunderbirds? It was Aloysius.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.

Biology's Etymology

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Biology’s Etymology. Whether it is when watching, listening or reading that medical drama or a visit to the doctor or hospital, the terminology used can be baffling in the extreme. That they know what they are talking about is all we need to know, for that is not what this talk is about. Here we are looking at the terms used by the majority, those without a medical grounding. This talk examines the parts of the body through the names with which we are so familiar. Who first thought of the term 'head', 'foot', 'finger', 'muscle', 'bone'? Did the heart become known as such because it was seen as central to life, or did this develop the other way around? And what about ailments and diseases? Were chickens really the inspiration of 'chickenpox'? And who thought 'chilblains' an apt description of the ailment? An explanation of where these terms originated, how they developed and why they remain commonplace today. Many of the answers are surprising and more than a few amusing. There is also the opportunity to ask specific examples, especially for those who need to know the origins of those parts not included in the talk. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

Chest – was never used for the thorax until the sixteenth century, prior to that both males and females had a breast (hence why we have a breastbone and armour a breastplate). The term chest came from Old English cest meaning ‘box, casket’, a suggestion the rib cage was a box containing a number of vital organs.

Finger – a Germanic word which can be traced to Proto-Indo-European penkwe meaning ‘five’ and for obvious reasons as there are five digits (the thumb was considered a finger until later).

Spleen – has been known since ancient times, where Proto-Indo-European splegh had the same meaning. Now today we know the spleen’s functions include the control of components of the blood such as platelets and red and blood cells. Traditionally this organ was held to contain an individual’s ill feelings, misery, bad tempers – hence we hear how one is ‘venting their spleen’.

Whooping cough – is an onomatopoeic name referring to its symptoms. Correctly it is called pertussis and coined in the 17th century as Latin per tussis means ‘persistent cough’. My grandmother always used the term chincough which, almost 50 years later, I discovered was Staffordshire dialect for whopping cough – although this doesn’t explain why my grandmother always warned us that sitting on a cold wall could give ‘chincough in your bottom’.

Buttock – most often seen in the plural, actually comes from the original ‘butt’. While this may be seen as an American term, it actually is a Tudor English term which in turn came from Germanic languages. It is not difficult to see why the rifle butt has the same origin as the rear end, although not used as such before the 14th century, and originally referred to a small piece of land (in Dutch) and as simply ‘short’ in Old Norse.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.

Old English to Modern English

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Old English to Modern English. The Saxons, Angles, Jutes and Frisians arrived on our shores from the fifth century AD. They brought with them the basis of our culture and a language which we refer to as Old English. Over the next 1,500 years influences principally from the Scandinavian and French tongues took this to Middle English and eventually to Modern English. English is the most diverse language and this is not simply down to the number of words adopted from quite unrelated tongues, a remnant of colonial days. There is a reason why English, more than any other, needs a thesaurus - indeed most languages never bother publishing a thesaurus (Japanese is a notable exception). That English has been influenced by so many others has led to such a great number of alternative words. Learn how these came began, where they came from and, most interestingly, how they evolved, how the meanings changed and developed to become the language we know today. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

The letter A is for an used in such things as ‘an egg’ instead of ‘a’ when the following noun begins with a vowel. However, it actually began as ‘one’ hence ‘one egg’ and the use of ‘a’ actually the loss of the following ‘n’. Note it is difficult to say AN LEG, AN HORSE, AN BOTTLE) but Old English would have been pronounced as AYN LEG, AYN HORSE, AYN BOTTLE which is rather easier. The same thing is seen in anfeld which may have been used to mean ‘simple’ but actually comes from ‘one-fold’ as in ‘once’.

The letter C is for ceap meaning ‘market’ and which also gave geceapian ‘to buy’. Now today we look for things on the cheap at the market, where originally they would market things at the cheap. Note we say ‘on the cheap’ to mean ‘cheaply’ – on the cheap meaning ‘on the market’. And this is still seen in place names such as Chipping Norton, Chipping Sodbury and street names such as Cheap Street and Cheapside.

The Letter K is for nothing, no not a silent ‘k’ but a letter coming to modern English from the Scandinavian languages. Incidentally the silent ‘K’ is a modern idea – once we had k-nights, and k-nives, but nobody wore k-nickers as this was originally knickerbockers and even that word unknown before 1859. This was not what you were expecting when I mentioned knickerbockers – admit it.

The letter Q is French and did not appear in Old English. Oddly the word ‘queue’, albeit with a spelling of c-u-e, appeared in English before the Norman invasion. It was used to describe a ‘tail’ (and other long parts of the mammalian anatomy), and first used to refer to a line of people in 1837, some 350 years after the first queues were named as ‘lines of dancers’.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.

30 Years of Not Being Published

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with 30 Years of Not Being Published. In over three decades more than ninety published works have appeared on the shelves. This talk is not as negative as it may first seem. During this period I have amassed a vast number of rejection letters, but still managed to average three books a year and more than one article each and every week. Listen to the experiences, the mistakes, the ideas, the tips and advice on how all writers have something to learn and also to contribute to the literary world. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

When it comes to finding a publisher, possibly the best piece of advice I have is simply to find a published book that is as close to yours as possible, then pitch it to that publisher. The reason? Because an editorial department have the job of producing something new, but sales teams want what is selling .

Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting. — Says Jonathan Franzen, who fails to remember ‘very’ is a word which Oscar Wilde advised writers to edit out and replaced with ‘damned’ as the publisher will then cross out every example and thus make the ideal manuscript.

“Write what you know about” – Brilliant advice. Except for the advice on how to check every fact, research every snippet, and all the rest of the baloney. And there’s also the fact that people (yes even writers) are sometimes mistaken and what they “KNOW” is incorrect. If not, nobody would ever get divorced, have unwanted pregnancies, jobs they can’t do, or ever make a mistake. As a little pointer to how stupid this advice is, do some research into all these HOW TO books for writers and look at how many books they’ve had published previously – you’ll be amazed at how often it is their FIRST and perhaps even ONLY book .

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.

Old Wives Tales

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Old Wives Tales. I can't tell you who the old wife was or why she had so many strange ideas, but I can tell you a whole host of ideas which until quite recently were considered all part of life's lessons. There are also those which, with the best will in the world, will dumbfound as to why anyone would ever find these 'truths' credible. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

Walking under a ladder. The most obvious reason is in case someone up the ladder drops something on you. Yet the most oft repeated story comes from the medieval idea of the triangle formed by the ladder, wall and floor was seen as representative of the Holy Trinity and to walk through was to break it.

Opening an umbrella inside is a major taboo and another which is among the most often quoted. Of course it is utter gibberish and, statistically speaking, there is no evidence to suggest opening an umbrella indoors has brought about any more woes than opening it outside or never even owning one. Prior to researching this myth the author assumed it to be a modern idea, simply because the umbrella was a modern invention. Yet there are images from the ancient city of Nineveh, which dates from as far back as 6000BC, depicting same. In truth the earliest umbrellas were actually parasols, designed to shade from the sun, and would never close nor would they ever prove particularly useful if used to create a personal and portable rain shelter. Opening umbrellas date from the nineteenth century, the earliest being much larger than today as they were designed to cover a man, his wife and their children. Houses were also much smaller in those days and opening the umbrella indoors was probably considered bad as doing so would be almost certain to break something. Thus for most of its existence it has not been unlucky to open an umbrella indoors, it has been impossible.

Placing a hat on a bed is unacceptable and sure to bring misfortune. Certain to bring bad luck it seems but the origin of this idea is not certain at all, there being many ideas as to why. The most obvious is probably because it is disrespectful to wear a hat indoors and nobody would wear a hat in bed. There is also the idea that a hat is normally not the cleanest item worn, it costs to have a hat cleaned properly, and thus could harbour pests and particularly lice. Those pests are not what would be welcome in a bed.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.

Clothing

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Clothing. Trousers or Dress, Blouse or Shirt, just where do these names come from? Never mind who created the style, who created the original and thus the name? Find out the answers to these and other questions, including why we have a pair of trousers when there is clearly only one garment, and take a tour from ancient attire to what the modern model is wearing. There is a PowerPoint presentation to accompany this talk if required.

Pocket – etymologically you can actually hear this is a pock-ette, ie a small pock. Exactly what it means and, as a simplistic term, is very old. Can’t be traced earlier than Proto-Germanic (only about 4,000 years ago) puk means ‘bag’. Note the word ‘poke’ had the same meaning in Old English, hence a ‘pig in a poke’ means you should expect to find a porker in a bag but unlikely and therefore you won’t find what you expect in the bag. Using ‘poke’ to mean ‘nudge, jab, etc’., only dates from around 1750. Also, if I haven’t killed off all interest in pokes and pockets think about the rhyme beginning Lucy Locket lost her pocket – how do you lose a pocket, it’s stitched into the garment? Well not always, for most of history it was a separate item. Which is why women still carry bags and men have pockets in their clothes.

Girdle – since the 8th century, from a Germanic word meaning ‘to gird’ and ultimately from Proto-Indo-European ghr-dh ‘to grasp’.

Breeches – seen since around 1200, this is an odd double plural. Here Old English brec meant ‘breeches’ before it was pluralised, for brec was already the plural form of broc meaning ‘garment for the legs and trunk’. Now originally the garment was one sided, thus when pluralised it referred to both legs which, with the upper part, crossed over and were tied together to form a single item but clearly plural. That the item was intended to be worn in two halves is likely the reason for it coming from Proto-Indo-European bhreg or ‘break’.

Apron – one of a number of words, adder and umpire are others, which began as ‘a napron’, and continued to be used until the 16th century, but through a process known as ‘faulty separation’ became ‘an apron’. Coming to English from Old French naperon ‘small table cloth’ and ultimately from the Latin mappa ‘napkin’ and further back still to ‘matting’.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.