Sunday, 12 January 2014

Lice, Cucumbers, Sex and Ninjas.

A new year, well new-ish, and this week I discovered the 27th January will be marked in the USA by Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, the purpose of which is not to protect valuable fragile items but to pop the bubbles to your heart’s content. (No, neither do I.) This did make me wonder what delightful National Awareness Days we in the United Kingdom have to look forward to. The following have been noted in my diary.

January 14th is STIQ Day – when we are to ask ourselves if we are acting responsibly when it comes to sexually transmitted infections. While I understand the IQ added to STI, perhaps an acronym standing for Sexually Transmitted Intelligence Quotient is likely to be misunderstood.

January 31st is National Bug Busting Day. It seems this day, to be repeated on June 15th and October 31st, will see all-out war against head lice when ‘all will be found and zapped in one fell swoop’. I can’t stop scratching my head when typing it, hence I shall be ignoring it completely at the end of the month.

February 14th is National Think About Sex Day. Apparently men do so 13 times each day in comparison to 5 times a day for women. I’m assuming the idea on Valentine’s Day is to get one of the 13 to correspond with one of the 5?

March 28th is National Skipping Day. This is the skipping with the rope and to encourage those who are presumed too young to participate in the February event to see how exercise can also be fun. My first thought was of the ‘skipping down the street’ once seen in many children’s stories – something I have not seen for decades.

April 5th is International Pillow Fight Day. The whole point of this really escapes me, the only point to catch my attention was the warning not to swing the pillow too hard as it might hurt. So why do it?

May 12th is National Cucumber Day and celebrated by CueFest. It might make more sense if it was later in the year when people could have grown their own.

May 18th is Random Huggers Day and whilst I’m not averse to a hug from time to time, it must be remembered I am British and there is nothing random about hugging.

May 25th is Towel Day and at last an event that makes perfect sense. I shall, of course, be carrying my towel and hoping I am rewarded by a lift.

June 1st is Butterfly Education and Awareness Day. Clearly it is easier to absorb information while still young and thus in a class full of very mature students results are never going to be too thrilling.

July 11th is World Population Day, which I think might involve some sort of ritual cull.

August 13th is Left Handers Day and only included because I was relieved to find it had nothing to do with the events of February 14th and May 18th.

September 19th is International Talk like a Pirate Day, which should be renamed Robert Newton’s Only Claim to Fame Day.

October 5th is National Badger Day, which would have troubled our ancestors as the word ‘badger’ was once solely used for those trying to sell something. Perhaps I should be expecting even more calls about PPI and Personal Injury than normal.

November 30th is Buy Nothing Day, which I actually learned from as it appears there are people out there who spend money on purchases every single day of their lives.

December 5th is the Day of the Ninja. Encouraging people to wear a ninja mask to work seems an odd idea anywhere, but especially so for those who install CCTV cameras.

Incidentally the USA have a wondrous day on Tuesday 14th, no help is required for National Dress Your Pet Up Day (American aquarists might want to post pictures).

I would welcome any suggestions for themes or subjects, or even specific words to examine the origins, meanings and etymologies. I’d be delighted to hear from you.

1 comment:

  1. August 13th is Left Handers Day and only included because I was relieved to find it had nothing to do with the events of February 14th and May 18th.

    hehehe. very, very funny.