Sunday, 11 March 2012

That's My Name, Don't Wear It Out

The idea of giving children rather unusual names is not new. Every generation wants to be different and rightly so. However I've never before noticed how often the mothers of these children constantly use the name they have given to their offspring. Recently I paid a visit to the dentist who I'm sure won't mind me saying is a Mr Harrison. In the waiting room was a young family who had named their (I assumed but couldn't really tell) boy 'Harrison'. A naturally inquisitive chap (allowed to roam and thrust hands into anything he desired) every sentence ended, not in a full stop but, in a comma followed by the child's name - almost as if it would be forgotten were it not included at least once in every line. Sitting in the dentist's chair I realised this annoying mantra was audible even here, Mr Harrison (that's the one who had qualified as a dentist) clearly distracted by the constant repetition of his name.

I don't recall my mother (or father) ever using my name ad nauseum and began to wonder if the parents of the following fellows had ever subjected them to such a barrage. Considering the names these individuals were landed with, I somehow doubt it.

Among those with the silliest names in history were (I assure you each and every one is authentic) the following:

Ostrich Pockinghorn
Bovril Simpson
Seraphim Hooker
Lettuce Bedlam
Alfred Ming Belcher
Anice Bottom
Seymour Bust
Annette Kirton
Kitty Litter
Min Speiss
Pleasant Titty
Mike Rotch
Fartamalus Purdger
Horace Jealous Pratt
One Too Many Gouldstone
Thomas Posthumous Hoby
Admiral of the Fleet Sir Cloudesley Shovell
Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Ranfurly Plunkett-Ernle-Erle Drax, a man who has a street named after him but thankfully Plymouth chose to limit that name to Drax.

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