Not the Normal Paranormal

A few will be aware I have been known to speak on various subjects over the years. Fundamentally these all revolve around my favourite subject of etymology. Have always enjoyed bringing this fascinating subject to others. It’s not for me to say whether the audiences have, although many have asked me to return.

Thought it might be worthwhile sharing a snippet or two from these etymological presentations, continuing with Not the Normal Paranormal.

Here the hour or so sees how I was introduced to the subject and began to write about same, how I research the stories, and my own experiences. A snippet or two from each of my paranormal books ends with the tale of the oddest of telephone calls (which I still don't understand) and then questions from the audience.

Perhaps one of my favourite stories comes from Birmingham and the Old Crown at Deritend. It is claimed to be the oldest pub in Birmingham, it has not always been a pub but is the licensed premises occupying the oldest building in the Second City. There are numerous ghostly reports from this place, but one stands out.

Today the pub offers a room for the night, but owing to building restrictions there are a couple of things which the Old Crown was unable to provide at the time. First there are no en suites in any of the rooms; next the shutters on the windows do not exclude all the light from the busy High Street outside; and finally there are no locks on the doors but a peg is inserted in the latch when inside the room. I mention these three key points as they are all relevant to the story.

A couple of thirty-somethings – we’ll call the Dick and Jane - opted for a weekend in Birmingham to liven up their marriage. After a meal and few drinks in the city centre, they returned to the Old Crown for drinks and an early night. Upstairs in their room, with shutters drawn and peg inserted in the latch, they did what comes naturally to couples in love. (That’s sex, if you don’t know or can’t remember.)

In the early hours of the morning Dick awoke and found he had to answer a call of nature. He tried to ignore it, having no en suite, but eventually had fold back the quilt, slide out of bed, slip on his trousers and, having removed the peg, managed to slip out of the room and pad quietly along the corridor to the visit the facilities.

Minutes later, suitably relieved, he padded back to the room but stopped when reaching the door which he had left ajar. Standing outside he could not believe his ears. From inside the room came noises, sounds he was very familiar with, and sounds he had heard earlier in the evening from Jane. Indeed, they were very recognizably from Jane.

Dick jumped to the conclusion that someone had taken his place in the bed. But for reasons I have never understood, decided to wait outside until the intruder emerged (the door being his only avenue of escape) instead of rushing in and coming to Jane’s rescue. But this plan fell through when, despite the ‘action’ inside the room clearly having reaching a conclusion, nobody emerged.

In rushed Dick (perhaps I should have chosen a different name) to gallantly defend Jane’s honour, only to find she was lying in bed exactly as he had left her and the bedclothes just as he had left them. Perplexed, Dick removed his trousers, slid into bed and, just as he pulled the quilt across, Jane turned over, three an arm and a leg over him and announced “That was the best EVER!”

Dick later told me he has never had the nerve to tell her he wasn’t in the room at the time.

Having related this story when giving this talk, I have been asked several times the room number and I can reveal this to be …… well you will have to read the book or book me for the talk to find out.

If you think you know someone who would like to hear me speak on this subject, drop me a line.