Unlucky 13

With advent calendar doors opening daily to enjoy a chocolate for breakfast - in my formative years it was simply a picture - I overheard the question wondering why the clock has not been decilmalised. As someone who can remember pounds sterling changing overnight from 240 pennies to the pound down to 100 leading to utter bewilderment for many, a metric clock would prove quite entertaining for a decaday or two.

Any attempt to bring about any metric clock is doomed to failure whilst we are still marooned on Sol 3. Star Trek 's stardate, seemingly a futuristic dating system, is in reality quite arbitrary and created so the audience would find it difficult to understand exactly what date it equated to on the Julian Calendar and write it pointing out endless continuity errors or giving opinions on whether the toilet would be obsolete on the Enterprise (having never seen one I assume they simply beam waste products away, a much easier method) or innumerable other scenarios deemed impossible by that century or this.

Not that Earth time has prevented the creation of any number of metric systems, aside from the many created by fiction authors - Battlestar Galactica writers created the 'centon', equal to roughly one minute - while mathematicians and scientists have created the decasecond (which is 10 seconds), the hectosecond (two hectoseconds to boil an egg), the megasecond (around 11.1/2 days), the gigasecond (equating to more than 31 years and meaning few of us will ever see a lifetime of three gigaseconds), the myriasecond (just short of three hours), and the marvellously named hectocoulomb per milliampere, which may sound like an eternity but is actually only a little under 28 hours.

There have also been attempts to change days, weeks and months. Possibly best known is the French Revolutionary Calendar which relied more on the cycle of the Moon, thus giving thirteen months in a year. Thirteen is considered unlucky - Friday 13th is the unluckiest day of all but any month with such must also begin with Sunday 1st, seen as the luckiest day so one balances the other out - which may have been one factor in not adopting the French idea. Another would be how they reflect northern hemisphere seasons, although the main reason would be down solely to reluctance to change. Despite decimalisation in the United Kingdom happening more than 40 years ago, those who remember shillings, coloquially known as a 'bob', may still refer to good fractions of the pound as 'a few bob'.

The thirteen French months were coined quite recently, hence the origins are fairly self-explanatory but still worthwhile examining from an etymological point of view. However before we start, some mention should be made of the start of the year which begins on either 22nd, 23rd or 24th September. The Julian calendar began in March, taking the spring equinox as when the longer day than night sees the beginning of the growing season, while the Gregorian calendar looks more at the closest from the shortest hours of daylight, thereafter opting for the start of the following month around 10 days later. Note both are relevant only in the northern hemisphere, as we have already noted also applies to the French suggestion.

Vendemiaire is from the Occitan language, a Romance language named from the Occitan valley of Italy but not confined to that region, and translates as 'grape harvester'. It begins on either 22nd, 23rd or 24th September but the confusion does not stop there, for each month had thirty days, each of three decades (metric weeks) of ten days which saw the metric week of Primidi, Duodi, Tridi, Quartidi, Sextidi, Septidi, Octidi, Nonidi, Decadi or 'first, second, third', etc,. Further confusion comes from the thirty days each having a second name. The majority in Vendemiaire named after plants, with the 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. This results in Raisin 'grape' Safran 'saffron', Chataignes 'chestnut', Colchique 'autumn crocus', Cheval 'horse', Balsamine 'yellow balsam', Carottes 'carrots', Amarantine 'amaranth', Panais 'parsnip', Cuve 'tub', Pommes de terre 'potatoes', Immortelle 'strawflower', Potiron 'giant pumpkin', Reseda 'mignonette', Ane 'donkey', Belle de nuit 'marvel of Peru', Citrouille 'summer pumpkin', Sarrazin 'buckwheat', Tournesol 'sunflower', Pressoir 'wine-press', Chanvre 'hemp', Peches 'peaches', Navets 'turnip', Amarillis 'amaryllis', Boeuf 'cattle', Aubergine 'aubergine', Piment 'chile pepper', Tomate 'tomato', Orge 'barley', Tonneau 'barrel'.

Brumaire is from the French word for 'fog', as this month is the most likely to see fog. It begins on either 22nd, 23rd or 24th October. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Pomme 'apple', Celeri 'celery', Poire 'pear', Bettarave 'beetroot', Oye 'goose', Heliotrope 'European turnsole', Figue 'fig', Scorsonere 'black salsify', Alisier 'chequer tree', Charrue 'plough', Salsifis 'salsify', Macre 'water chestnut', Topinambour 'Jerusalem artichoke', Endive 'endive', Dindon 'turkey', Chervi 'skirret', Cresson 'watercress', Dentelaire 'leadwort', Grenade 'pomegranate', Herse 'harrow', Bacchante 'wild ginger', Azerole 'Crete hawthorn', Garence 'madder', Orange 'orange', Faisan 'pheasant', Pistache 'pistachio', Macjonc 'sweetpea', Coing 'quince', Cormier 'service tree', Rouleau 'roller'.

Frimaire is the French word for 'frost'. It begins on either 21st, 22nd or 23rd November. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Raiponce 'rampion', Terneps 'turnips', Chicoree 'chicory', Nefle 'medlar', Cochon 'pig', Mache 'corn salad', Cho-fleur 'cauliflower', Miel 'honey', Genievre 'juniper', Pioche 'pick', Cire 'wax', Raifort 'horseradish', Cedre 'cedar', Sapin 'fir', Chevreuil 'roe', Ajonc 'gorse', Cypres 'cypress', :ierre 'ivy', Sabine 'savin juniper', Hoyau 'axe', Erable sucre 'silver maple', Bruyere 'heather', Roseau 'reed', Oseille 'sorrel', Grillon 'cricket', Pignon 'pinenut', Liege 'cork oak', Truffe 'truffle', Olive 'olive', Pelle 'shovel'.

Novose is from the Latin for 'snow'. It begins on the 21st, 22nd or 23rd of December. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days and is different in using minerals and animal substances instead of plants, again with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Tourbe 'peat', Houille 'coal', Bitume 'asphalt', Soufre 'sulphur', Chien 'dog', Lave 'lava', Terre vegetale 'humus', Fumier 'manure', Salpetre 'nitrate', Fleau 'flail', Granit 'granite', Argile 'clay', Ardoise 'slate', Gres 'sandstone', Lapin 'rabbit', Silex 'flint', Marne 'marl', Pierre a chaux 'limestone', Marbre 'marble', Van 'winnowing basket', Pierre a platre 'gypsum', Sel 'salt', Fer 'iron', Culvre 'copper', Chat 'cat', Etain 'tin', Plomb 'lead', Zinc 'zinc', Mercure 'mercury', Crible 'sieve'.

Pluviose is from the Latin for 'rainy'. It begins on 20th, 21st or 22nd of January. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Laureole 'spurge laurel', Mousse 'moss', Fragon 'buther's broom', Perce Neige 'snowdrop', Taureau 'bull', Laurier Thym 'bay thyme', Amadouvier 'tinder fungus', Mezereon 'February daphne' (ironically in January), Peuplier 'poplar', Coignee 'hatchet', Ellebore 'hellebore', Broccoli 'broccoli', Laurier 'laurel', Avelinier 'cobnut', Buis 'boxwood', Lichen 'Iceland moss', If 'yew', Pulmonaire 'lungwort', Sepette 'pruning knife', Thlaspi 'pennycross', Thimele 'rose daphne', Chiendent 'couchgrass', Trainasse 'knotweed', Lievre 'hare', Guedre 'dyer's woad', Voisetier 'hazelnut', Cyclamen 'sowbread', Chelidoine 'celandine', Traineau 'sleigh'.

Ventose is from the Latin for 'windy'. It begins on 19th, 20th or 21st of February. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Tussilage 'coltsfoot', Cornouiller 'dogwood', Viollier 'stock', Troene 'privet', Bouc 'billy goat', Asaret 'wild ginger', Alaterne 'evergreen buckthorne', Violette 'violet', Marceau 'willow', Beche 'spade', Narcisse 'narcissus', Orme 'elm', Fumeterre 'fumitory', Velar 'hedge mustard', Chevre 'goat', Epinard 'spinach', Doronic 'leopard's bane', Mouron 'pimpernel', Cerfeuil 'chervil', Cordeau 'twine', Mandragore 'mandrake', Percil 'parsley', Cochleria 'scurvygrass', Paquerette 'daisy', Thon 'tuna', Pissenlit 'dandelion', Sylvie 'anemone', Capillaire 'maidenhead fern', Frene 'ash tree', Plantoir 'dibble'.

Germinal is from the Latin for 'germination', most often simply said to be 'seed'. It begins on either the 20th or 21st of March. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Primevere 'primrose', Platane 'plane tree', Asperge 'asparagus', Tulipe 'tulip', Poule 'hen', Blette 'beetroot', Bouleau 'birch', Jonquille 'jonquil', Aulne 'alder', Couvoir 'hatchery', Pervenche 'periwinkle', Charme 'hornbeam', Morille 'round morel', Hetre 'beech', Abeille 'bee', Laitue 'lettuce', Meleze 'larch', Cigue 'hemlock', Radis 'radish', Ruche 'beehive', Gainier 'Judas tree', Romaine 'cos lettuce', Maronnier 'horse chestnut', Roquette 'rocket', Pigeon 'pigeon', Anemone / Lilas 'anemone or lilac', Pensee 'pansy', Myrtil 'blueberry', Greffoir 'graft knife'.

Floreal comes from the Latin for 'flower'. It begins in either 20th or 21st of April. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Rose 'rose', Chene 'oak', Fougere 'fern', Aubepine 'hawthorn', Rossignol 'nightingale', Ancolie 'columbine', Muguet 'lily of the valley', Champignon 'mushroom', Hyacinthe 'hyacinth', Rateau 'rake', Rhubarbe 'rhubarb', Sain-foin 'sainfoin', Baton d'or 'wallflower', Chamerisier 'dwarf honeysuckle', Ver-a-sole 'silkworm', Consoude 'comfrey', Pimprenelle 'burnet', Corbeil d'or 'alison', Arroche 'orache', Sarcloir 'hoe', Statice 'sea lavender', Fritillaire 'fritillary', Bourrache 'borage', Valeriane 'valerian', Carpe 'carp', Fusian 'spindle tree', Civette 'chive', Buglose 'bugloss', Seneve 'charlock', Houlette 'shepherd's staff.

Prairal is from the French word for 'meadow'. It begins on either 20th or 21st of May. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Luserne 'lucerne', Hemerocalle 'daylily', Trefle 'clover', Angelique 'angelica', Canard 'duck', Melisse 'melissa', Fromental 'oat grass', Martagon 'martagon lily', Serpolet 'wild thyme', Faulx 'scythe', Fraise 'strawberry', Betoine 'betony', Pois 'pea', Acacia 'acacia', Caille 'quail', Oeillet 'pink', Sureau 'elder', Pavot 'poppy', Tilleul 'lime tree', Fourche 'pitchfork', Barbeau 'cornflower', Camomille 'chamomile', Chevrefeuille 'honeysuckle', Caille lait 'bedstraw', Tranche 'tench', Jasmin 'jasmine', Verveine 'vervain', Thym 'thyme', Pivoine 'peony', Chariot 'cart.

Messidore is from Latin for 'harvest'. It begins on either 19th or 20th of June. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Seigle 'rye', Avoine 'oats', Oignon 'onion', Veronique 'speedwell', Mulet 'mule', Romarin 'rosemary', Concombre 'cucumber', Echalotte 'shallot', Absynthe 'wormwood', Faucille 'sickle', Coriandre 'coriander', Artichaut 'artichoke', Giroflee 'clove', Lavande 'lavender', Chamois 'chamois', Tabac 'tobacco', Groseille 'currant', Cesse 'vetchling', Cerise 'cherry', Parc 'fold', Menthe 'mint', Cumin 'caraway', Haricot 'bean', Orcanete 'alkanet', Pintade 'guinea fowl', Sauge 'sage', Ail 'garlic', Vesce 'vetch', Ble 'wheat', Chalemie 'shawm.

Thermidor is derived from the French 'heat', although some printed calendars give this as Fervidor or 'hot'. It begins on either 19th or 20th July. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Epeautre 'spelt', Bouillon blanc 'mullein', Melon 'melon', Ivraie 'ryegrass', Belier 'ram', Prele 'horsetail', Armoise 'mugwort', Carthame 'safflower', Mure 'mulberry', Arrosoir 'watering can', Panic 'eryngo', Salicor 'glasswort', Abricot 'apricot', Basilic 'basil', Brebis 'ewe', Guimauve 'marsh mallow', Lin 'flax', Amande 'almond', Genthiane 'gentian', Ecluse 'lock', Carline 'silver thistle', Caprier 'caper', Lentille 'lentil', Aunee 'elecampane', Loutre 'otter', Myrthe 'myrtle', Colza 'rapeseed', Lupin 'lupin', Coton 'cotton', Moulin 'mill'.

Fructidor comes from the Latin for 'fruit'. It begins on either August 18th or 19th. While the metric weeks retain the ten-day names, different names are given for each of the thirty days but retain the idea of plants, with the addition of 5th (Quintidi) taking the name of a domesticated animal and the 10th (Decadi) the name of an agricultural tool. Prune 'plum', Millet 'millet', Licoperde 'puffball', Escourgeon 'barleygrass', Saumon 'salmon', Tubereuse 'tuberose', Sucrion 'barleygrass', Apocyn 'dogbane', Reglisse 'licquorice', Echelle 'ladder', Pasteque 'watermelon', Fenouil 'fennel', Epine vinette 'barberry', Noix 'walnut', Truite 'trout', Citron 'lemon', Cardiere 'teasel', Nerprun 'buckthorn', Tagette 'African marigold', Hotte 'basket', Eglantier 'dog rose', Noisette 'hazelnut', Houblon 'hops', Sorgho 'soghum', Ecrevisse 'bitterorange', Verge d'or 'golden rod', Mais 'corn', Marron 'horse chestnut', Panier 'basket'.

Even for the French this calendar proved but unappealing and having implemented it in 1793 then abandoned the system just 12 years later. A short revival in 1871 similarly saw little support, actually the Paris Commune's use lasted just 12 days or a whole megasecond.

As this is being posted on December 11th 2016, as far as I can tell this, had the French proved popular, would mean today is: silver maple, first of the third decade of frost month.

Note the piece uses English spellings as it is written in English and speaking of which, one 19th-century British wit made a little fun of the new months by renaming them "Wheezy, Sneezy, Freezy, Slippy, Drippy, Nippy, Showery, Flowery, Bowery, Hoppy, Croppy, and Poppy.